Wheezing struggles

Sitting here with lots of thoughts racing around in my brain and the song on the radio is the one about what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. 

Yes, life’s trials and tribulations do usually make you stronger after you have successfully weathered them. But what about that where you just can’t seem to get a toe hold?

The past few months have been one struggle after another and right now, at this very moment, it is hard to see past that and know that I’ll come out ahead, stronger for the battle.

Some of the struggles are due to health issues.  The struggle to breathe in this heat, humidity and poor air quality is literally making me tired.  I have little energy left for anything else when I can’t get a good breath.  I have finally broken down or rather, stopped being so bull-headed and made a DR’s appointment for tomorrow.  He’ll listen to my lungs and give out the bad news I am sure.  In spite of knowing that and realizing I will more than likely not like what I hear some relief will be well received. 

Some struggles are due to a weak mind.  When you are at something for such a long time you become tired mentally.  That doesn’t negate that fact that you should still be focused but there it is.  When you become tired and struggle to focus, good works and efforts fall by the wayside.  When those good works and efforts slack off other things start creeping up like that nasty number on the scale.  I know I should refocus, rededicate, re-whatever, but my steam and momentum quickly peter out.  With a weak mind comes weak determination.  They not only go hand-in-hand they are bound by super glue! 

Some struggles are due to you being plain worn out.  When dealing with the aforementioned issues the daily life struggles really hit with a mighty blow.  Sometimes, as much as I love them, my kids drive me NUTS.  I know there is no need to elaborate on that issue because you all know what I’m talking about. 

I did successfully complete the three half marathons, etc that I set out to complete.  By successfully I mean I completed them upright.  One was fabulous, one not so much and the other was a downright nightmare.  I promised myself some rest by scaling back a little until time to get started on my half of the fall. 

So here I am…resting…unfocused…wondering what in the heck is next and what I need to get my eyes and mind fixed on the next goal.

Of course the first thing is getting my breathing in hand.  Perhaps once that has been achieved the rest will not be in the proverbial hand basket.