Tired

I am tired mentally and physically.

I am tired of the never ending battle with my weight.  I am tired of worrying every single moment about every single morsel that I eat.  I continue to struggle, can’t stay focused and I’ve even gained a few pounds.  I feel moments away from developing an eating disorder…if I don’t already have one. 

I’m tired of training my tail feathers off only to feel weak and slow.  I know I’m not supposed to be racing anyone but me but you fellow runners know how it is.  I become discouraged when everyone around me seems to be moving on along and I fall behind.  I ache from head to toe and am struggling with the fact I have probably bitten off more than I can chew this spring.

I’m tired of feeling like I am never home with my children.  I feel as if I am always going to this run or that run, meeting someone to run or a run group.  I’m tired of the comment that comes from my mouth, “there is plenty in the fridge for you to fix yourself supper.” 

I’m tired of continually having to justify why I don’t participate in workout groups or haven’t joined a gym for cross training.  Here it is folks, plain and simple…I CAN’T afford it!  I don’t have any extra cash because I am trying to raise two kids on my own.  They are expensive and any extra dollars that I manage to squeeze out of my meager paycheck I generally put back into them as in doing something as a family. 

I have hit the wall.

I’m tired.