Chain of fools.

Aretha Franklin sings a fantastic song called Chain of Fools.  It has always been a favorite and although Aretha is talking about the chains a man has on her we all have some sort of chains that ensnare us.  Whether or not we are reduced to fools and remain bound is our choice.

Breaking free.

The past few days my personal life has been an absolute disaster and I have felt the weight of every chain, burden and disappointment that seemed to come at me one after another.  I really don’t want to air it all out at the moment.  Some of the pain and disappointment is still too raw, too fresh and just too personal.  At some point I’ll be ready to speak of it out loud but now isn’t that time.  So you could say that I feel the mighty weight of that chain of fools.   

One thing that I do know is that while I feel mired deep in poo I am never far from the love and concern of those in my life that truly care about me.  As I lay in bed, alone in my quiet house and cry myself to sleep I hear that sweet voice that reminds me I am never alone. “Jacquelyn, you are My precious daughter and I love you.  I’ll never abandon you.”  The reality of the situation is still there but somehow, someway it will all be OK.  And like the song by The Afters’ He lights up the sky for me.  Maybe He didn’t do it with fireworks but with something more lasting.

This morning I got up and went to meet my half marathon training group and for those few precious hours I forgot all the chains that are heavy on my heart and mind.  When I’m out there running it is just me, the asphalt and the goal.  Sometimes that goal and asphalt are hard and brutal companions but they are constant unlike so many other aspects of life. This is where He lights up the sky! I have also been greatly blessed with another running friend.  We met on our first get-to-know-you run last week and immediately hit it off.  She, P and I are all on the same page with what we want to achieve in this program.    She also sees something in me that I would have never dreamed.  Are you ready for a chuckle?  She calls me her personal pace girl/Energizer Bunny. HA HA! 

Apparently I am pushing her to improve her pace and improve her run.  That makes me happy.  Who would have ever thought that slow me would be a pace setter for someone else?  That little compliment, so innocent yet honestly given, was that light in the sky.  I felt useful and validated at one of my lowest points.  Let’s be honest, we all need, crave, desire validation. 

I think P and I are very lucky to have found a new running buddy.  You can never have too many people in your life that love and care for you. 

Keep going and going and going.

After our morning run in the heat and humidity.  

After a successful run the three of us walked down to a great little coffee shop for refreshment and girl time.  We laughed, chatted, shared our goals and had a great morning.  I didn’t feel so empty when I left.  I was filled with all the good things that come from time with friends.

What about all those chains that I spoke of earlier?  Well, they are still there but maybe not wound quite as tightly.  I will not let them pull me down for long because I am a strong woman and I have a great cheering section behind me.