Bloomers and birthday cakes

One of my dearest friends always used to tease me when I would lose weight on many of my yo-yo diets.  “Your bloomers look like a family has moved out of them” or “You have on your clown pants today”.  You see, when I lose weight my backside is one of the first things to go.  I noticed this morning that once again, I’m wearing my clown pants.  Oh no, that can only mean one thing, it is time to go clothes shopping. I am not a shopper.  In fact, I’d just about take a beating as to go shopping. 

You would think that now that I have lost weight and in a much smaller size than when I started this adventure I would be excited.  Wrong! I do however love shopping for running clothes, go figure.  I get a thrill out of being able to wear the cute running skirts and actually look nice in them.  Perhaps I can trick my brain into thinking I’m running skirt shopping while I’m trying to find pants that fit and don’t need 6 inches cut off of them.  Remember, I am Shorty McShort-Short. Haha!  Guess I need to put on my shopping armor and get to it before the general populace actually catches a glimpse of my drawers when my pants sag.

I’m also dreading this Friday because I know it is going to be stressful.  Friday is my grandmother’s birthday so the kiddos, my mother, stepfather and I are all loading up and taking off to Cleveland to visit.  Yes, I love my Memaw but I’m not blind to her difficult nature.  There, I said it, she is a difficult woman. Gosh, that really makes me sound terrible, doesn’t it?  I am already dreading hearing how I need to lose weight (even though my son has started telling me I’m thin enough), what I should/shouldn’t do regarding my children’s father, etc., etc., etc.  I have to find my happy spot or I’ll plunge headfirst into a food induced coma.  I suppose it doesn’t help that there will be birthday cake involved during the visit. Also figure in the pound I was up on my weigh in Monday that is starting to niggle at my brain and resolve. 

*DEEP BREATH*

I must stay focused.  If I dive headfirst into birthday cake oblivion my bloomers won’t be baggy for long.  Maybe I’ll promise myself this, no food therapy while in Cleveland.  Then when I get back home, I’ll be ready to reward myself.  My reward will be a size 10 pair of pants. 

Bloomers or birthday cake?  I think I’ll take bloomers for 72 lbs.

PS:  I might even splurge on another running skirt!

Gone fishin'

As many of you know, I adored my Papaw.  The best part of each summer was when my parents would take me to Cleveland to spend a week or two with my grandparents.  Somehow Papaw always managed to have the entire time I was there off to spend with me and we had many grand adventures.  One of my favorite things to do was to get up early and go out to the lake that was hidden away on his farm.  You had to know it was there to find it.  We would walk the secret path out to the lake and I would admire all the early morning beauty.  Is there anything more lovely than dewy morning glories and ducks swimming on the glistening water?  Sometimes we would even fish but being a bit squeamish, I’d always want to let my fish go.

Today is the first official day of summer and it has already been a scorcher day after day.  So hot and miserable on most days that if you want to get a run in without turning into a puddle of goo you have to be out and at ‘em before Mr. Rooster even rolls over.  I’m not always super excited about being up by 4am in order to get a run in and still get cleaned up in time to be at work.  However, when I’m out that early I am able to enjoy watching my neighborhood wake up and greet the day.  Just like the times I spent with my Papaw.

Sometimes to achieve your goals you have to go through discomfort.  During the summers with my grandparents it was getting up super early to trek out to the lake with Papaw.  That discomfort today is the craptastic hot, muggy and torturous weather. 

This afternoon after work my running buddy and I are supposed to meet up and have our usual run/chat fest.  It is always good to get together with her and vent our frustrations, share our joys and laughter all while furthering our quest to be fit and healthy.  We will be out when the discomfort part comes in, not the dewy freshness of the morning.  We’ll just have to be smart about it. 

I know what my goals are; to get these last 20 or so pounds off and to successfully complete a half marathon.   I also realize there will be discomfort, sometimes GREAT discomfort along the way, but it will all be worth it.

So, the question is this.  Am I ready to fish or cut bait?  What about you?

Putting it in DRIVE.

The past week or so I have really been vacillating back and forth about whether or not I wanted to sign up for the ½ marathon training program or attempt to train on my own.  I loved the 5K and 10K training programs and the ½ is offered by the same store, just a new and potentially scary coach.  Should I just do it myself and run with my running friends that are also training?  Should I dive head first into the dark unknown abyss and sign up for the program?  What to do?!?!  What to do!?!?  Ack!  My brain hurts for thinking about it!

I suppose you would like a little back story, huh?  Remember I started the running deal on a whim.  I have griped and complained but overall been very successful.  I owe a lot of that success to my running coach, Daphne.  She was right there with encouragement, hand holding, tear wiping and super coaching.  I’ll go ahead and admit here that I like comfort.  I’m comfortable with Daphne.  I love her and value not only her superb coaching but also her friendship.  So do I feel a little bit like Benedict Arnold because I am actually thinking about signing up with another coach?  Oh yeah…big time. 

Enter the “potentially scary coach”, Charles.  I know him from the store and out and about at the races.  He has always, and I mean ALWAYS cheered me on when we’ve met up at the races or seen one another out running.  He also knows what it is to go down the road called weight loss and healthy life style change.  These are pluses.  However I’ve heard through the grapevine that he is a slave driver.  YIKES!  Last night I went to the informational meeting to hear what he had to say.  I figured I needed to weigh all my options before deciding.  My running buddy, P agreed.

I walk into the store for the meeting and was immediately greeted by Charles.  Wow!  He chatted with me about the 5K the Saturday before; so far so good.  Then the meeting starts and I realized something very quickly.  Yes, Charles may be more “hard core” than what I am used to but what I’m training for is also more “hard core” so shouldn’t that be expected?  I also looked over the others assembled for the meeting and realized something else.  I don’t need to feel intimidated.  They are all regular people like me not marathon winners.

I signed up for the program last night and feel good about my decision.  I will not look upon Charles as “potentially scary” anymore.  Maybe the ones that feel this way just didn’t gel with him and that is OK.   He may be hard but I feel confident he will help me improve and reach my goals, just like Daphne did and continues to do.  You can’t go wrong with broadening your scope.  And let’s face facts I have to have a coach.

The program doesn’t actually begin until July so I have a few weeks to just enjoy my runs with my friends and Daphne before I have to get serious about training.  I hope she understands when I tell her the news.  I don’t know why I’m worried, I know she will.  This morning at half past crazy, getting my run in I thought about all this and was at peace. 

Sure hope I continue with this peace and don’t fall to pieces!

You can’t steer a parked car anymore than I can do my first ½ marathon without a structured training plan. 

Remember:  ONWARD and UPWARD!  Of course there will be much wailing and gnashing of teeth along the way…it is me we’re talking about here.

AWOL and back again.

OK, so once again I have been MIA!  I’m just lazy I guess.  Lazy about writing on my blog but not lazy about my running or weight loss journey!

Let’s start our catch-up with news on the fatty front. I am down a whopping 71.5 pounds!  Waaaaa-hooooooo!!!!  There have been many ups and downs obviously but I have somehow managed to stay focused long enough to get over the major hump.  Could it be that I have finally embraced the lifestyle change? Hahaa!  Now that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel I am amazed at how far I have traveled.  With approximately 25 pounds to go until I reach my goal I am amazed and proud that I have been this successful.  Loads of thanks for the massive support from my girls at MRC, my children and the friends that helped to keep me focused!

Am I still running?  Why, yes!  In fact, I have completed several 5K events, a 10K training program and am now about to begin training for my very first half marathon.  There have been times that I have wondered about my sanity but you know what?  I feel so empowered when I run that I realize it is something that I want to continue.  Quite a far cry from my first grumblings, whines and general b*tching about the entire thing, I know.  I am stronger in mind as well as body.  I enjoy my life more and truth be told, my children enjoy me more as well.

So, where do we go from here?  UPWARDS, baby!

Upward and onward!!!

I will endeavor to be more active on my blog as I travel down the half marathon torture, ermmm, training.  I will also strive to keep you better posted on my weight loss journey so you can celebrate (without food!) with me when I finally attain my goal weight.

Thanks for hanging in there with me!

Lots of love to you all.

Hop, Skip and Limp

Yes, I know, I know!  It has been some time since my last entry.  I’m sure you were wondering where in the world I was.  Much like the elusive Waldo I was about, you just had to look.

The past month or so has been a roller coaster.  Emotionally, physically, financially…I’ve been through the ringer and back again.  There were a few times the clouds were so dark I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to see the light or even if I wanted to.

The worst part is that my job is on the line thanks to unforeseen changes and I’m really worked up over it all.  I’m trying to remain faithful and trust that it will all work out.  I’ve been here since the beginning and I’ll stay to the bitter end but the uncertainty of when that end is coming, sooner or later, is extremely stressful.  A few health scares with my mother tossed in and you can imagine my dieting fell by the wayside. 

But enough on that!  I DID keep up my training for the 5K!  Yeah me!  In spite of having a knee that just wants to give me fits I managed to keep to schedule.  I just put on my Speed Walker persona and go for it!  I guess it is a good thing I am able to walk pretty fast.  I think it is due to a lifetime of trying to keep up with everyone.  I’m a shorty in a family of tall people.  Hahaaa  

Anywho….  This past Saturday was the 5K.  It was cold.  I was nervous to say the least.  I was also excited.  Twelve weeks ago who would have ever dreamed that I would be here, ready to participate in a 5K!???!  I had been babying my knee with rest, a brace and ibuprofen for a good week and I was as mentally prepared as possible.  So my friend, P, and I stretch and line up for the start.  Let me say here that we have the absolute BEST running mentor.  Not only has she been there for us since the start, but she came to the race to participate and encourage us!  START!  Off we go.  I started out doing our running intervals when about a 1/3 of the way in my knee buckles and I know I am pretty much done.  It was all I could do not to sit down right there and cry.  WHY!?!?!?  I had worked so hard, put so much of myself into this training only to have a blow out here?!??!!  AAARRRRGGGG!!!  This is where C, my running mentor, really showed herself to be FABULOUS.  She stayed right with me and told me not to give up.  P was concerned and slowed down some but I told her to go on.  She took back off and finished the race, having run her intervals, and I am SO PROUD OF HER!!!  YEAH P!  C and I power walked the remainder of the race.  I FINISHED!  WOO-HOO!  I may have been in agony and limping across the finish line but I finished.  I even did a little sprint there at the end.

What did I learn from this experience?  I’m NUTS!  No, really, I learned a lot about myself.  There were times during the twelve weeks of training that honestly, I wasn’t sure I was going to make it.  When we started I could barely run 30 seconds without wanting a wheel chair and an oxygen mask.  Mix in my bum knee mixed in and a UTI that didn’t do me any favors.  But I STILL did my training.   Somewhere from within I dredged up the intestinal fortitude to press on.  I completed successfully something no one, not my family or friends, thought I would be able to do.  I might not have been the fastest, made the best time or had the most graceful appearance but I did something most of them wouldn’t or couldn’t. 

P and I ran that race with no one there to cheer us on save ourselves and our awesome mentor, C.  That part makes me sad.  However the two most important ones WERE there.  Us.  We committed to train and run this 5K and we did it!

Where do I go from here?  Remember what I said earlier about being nuts?  Somehow I have been convinced by P and myself to continue on.  We have continued our running nights. OK, so thanks to my trick knee I power walk but hey!  We have also committed to running/walking a fun run in December that is approximately 5 miles and possibly a 5K the weekend before that.  I know we can do it!

As far as my weight loss journey?  During all of my ups and downs the past month I really didn’t stay focused.  The good part is that I was able to maintain.  I went back for a weigh in on Monday with the mental commitment to start fresh on the new week and not let the past get me down.  I was down 1 lb for a grand total of 51.  It really got my week started off with a bang. 

The clouds are clearing and I am feeling better about myself than I have in weeks.  Yes, the other stresses are there, looming, but they will not have control.

I am WOMAN!  Hear me ROAR!!!!!!!!!!

Now where did I put my bottle of ibuprofen?????

Isn't it nifty?

Isn’t it nifty?  I’m FINALLY down 50!

And man ‘o man those last 5 or so pounds were killer.  I sometimes thought I would never get to this point.  I’m now half way to my goal.  Let’s all bow our heads in prayer that I will get there!

Speaking of getting there, will I ever get to the point that this running deal gets easier?  I mean, it is supposed to get easier, right?  Tuesday I felt like I was about ready for the undertaker when I finished my scheduled run!  My calves were more than “mooing” they were screaming.  A friend of mine that is a die-hard runner said she hated it at first.  Although when she said it she said HATED, yep, all caps.  Another runner friend said it was all good as long as I kept moving. Moving?!?!!?  Is he kidding me?  Tuesday the only moving I felt like doing was falling to the ground and wallowing in my agony. 

I try to tell myself as long as it doesn’t kill me and all that jazz.  Although at some points during this journey to run a 5K I’ve felt like turning up my toes.  The funny thing is that I can briskly walk that amount fine.  Just call me “Speed Walker”!! You would think that if I can walk it I could run it.  Not so fast!  *Pun intended* Eventually I know I’ll make it and accomplish this goal.  I’ve just got to keep moving forward even if it is baby steps.

This week has been full of challenges in my weight loss journey and life in general but I have managed to plow ahead and not get too far off the path.  That is what really matters isn’t it? Like one of my buddies said, just keep moving.

Speed bumps

Speed bumps are an annoying little fact about most parking lots, shopping centers and life.

When I went in for my weigh in on Friday I was down a total of 48.5! Saturday was our group run and while it really kicked my butt, I felt satisfied that I’m making progress. Later that afternoon the kiddos and I went swimming. Sunday I had my long walk and we road our bikes that afternoon. All in all a fantastic and satisfying weekend! I felt great!

Then came the speed bump called Monday. This is where we all have a collective Monday groan. *groan* I went in for a weigh in and was up a stinking ½ pound! Grrrrr! One of my girls at MRC said that she feels this is my body adjusting to my new exercise regimen, which makes sense since my regimen before the beginning of my 5K training was basically nonexistent. Still, the gain is hard to accept.

The next speed bump arrived shortly after arriving home from my visit to MRC. My mother called and was having a medical emergency regarding her eyes. I quickly went to pick her up and we were off to the hospital in Nashville. After a long, grueling, stressful and nerve wracking afternoon and emergency eye surgery my mother and I arrived back at her house after 7pm. As you can imagine I was worn mentally and physically out. I didn’t make a good food choice. I ate the first thing that came into reach; two left over pieces of pizza from the hasty supper my stepfather picked up to feed my children. The thing about the pizza speed bump is that I didn’t even register the bump.

Tuesday was somewhat back to normal. I made my usual good food choices, checked on my mother (she is doing well, by the way) and ran according to my training schedule after work. No speed bumps. Yeah!

I’ve gained some perspective on that ½ pound and made a decision. I’m doing all the things I need to in order to have a healthy lifestyle. I’m loosing weight and exercising. The little ups and downs, or speed bumps, are part of life. If I’m doing the right things I’ll have the right results, eventually. So I just need to learn to slow down when I come to the speed bump and realize that I can get back up to speed after I get across. I’m also going to stop going for a weigh in on Mondays. After all my activity on the weekends perhaps I also need to use my day of rest (Monday) for a day of rest from the scale.

Until then I’m looking out for those tricky and annoying speed bumps.