Finish the course

Some days are harder than others as we all well know.  Today had been one of those that I just seem to count the hours until I can crawl back in bed and pull the covers over my head.  Is 3:30 too soon?  What about 5 or maybe 6? 

This is the time of Empty House Syndrome and I’m feeling the hit very hard.  Friday night was an exercise in NOT consuming everything I could possibly lay hands on or that wasn’t nailed down.  Saturday started off wonderfully.  I met some of my running girlfriends bright and early, had a good run and then retired to a favorite coffee shop with one of my best girls, Cheryl.  We laughed, chatted and I soaked up the fellowship because deep inside I was already lonely.  OK, suck it up!  After leaving the coffee shop I treated myself to something I’ve had my eye on for quite some time.  It was a silly, frivolous purchase but it made me happy.

Today has been a total wash.  I don’t even know what to say here other than from the moment I crawled out of bed it has been a struggle.  I’ve done nothing but spin my wheels.  Why do I allow myself to get in these emotional situations? 

Tomorrow I am meeting with my bestie to get our run on and I am keeping fingers, toes and eyes crossed that a run and chat with her will get me straightened out.  If not, I’m not sure how I am going to make it through the week. 

Say a prayer for me, my friends? 

I do have some good news!  I have mentally and financially committed to running the Country Music Half Marathon in April 2012.  I am excited.  I’ve also decided to repeat the half training program to prepare for this undertaking.  Oh, did I mention I’m committing to running at least 4 half marathons in 2012?  If I can just wade through the abyss that is the last few weeks of 2011 I KNOW it will get better starting with the Resolution 5K run on New Year’s afternoon.  What a fantastic way to start off the New Year.

I’m not sure if I will be posting until after the first of the year.  So, if I don’t let me say:

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”  - Jeremiah 29:11

Mad for Music

I love Christmas music.  And when I say “love” I don’t mean I enjoy it mixed in with other music or the occasional Christmas concert.  I mean LOVE with all capital letters.  I love it so much that as soon as I wake up the day after Thanksgiving my music is totally dedicated to Christmas music. I’ll even fess up to sneaking in a little song or two here and there before Thanksgiving.  Shhhh!  Don’t tell.  So color me surprised when I discover a new song.  There are two that are new to me this year and I am thrilled to share them with you.

Let’s start with the silly, fun one.

DOMINICK THE DONKEY

Dominick dates back to 1960 but somehow, someway I have missed this little gem until this year.  Thank you to Sounds of the Season, channel 433 on my local cable, for enlightening my family.  All three of us fell in love with Dominick’s song.  It is silly, fun and catchy.  Also seeing how we have a soft spot for donkeys and mules at our house you can imagine this was an immediate classic.  Don’t forget if you too love donkeys and mules to watch Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey.  Be sure to keep a tissue handy.  OK, back to Dominick!  Perhaps the reason I have never before heard Dominick’s song is because Dominick is an Italian donkey and let’s face facts, there really aren’t a lot of Italians in my neck of the woods. Ha-ha

Here is a video of Dominick the Donkey.

YOU’RE HERE

We have all heard the lovely Christmas Carols about the Baby Jesus and there is even one that is from Joseph’s point of view called Joseph’s Lullaby.  The songs all sing about the Christ Child’s birth and the miraculous events of the time.  This week I heard a song from Mary’s point of view that was so beautiful and profound that I was moved to tears as I drove to work.  The song is You’re Here by Francesca Battistelli.

Here is a sample of the lyrics.

I’m staring into the face of my Savior

King and Creator

You could have left us on our own

But You’re here, You’re here.

Someday I’m going to look back on this

The night that God became my baby boy….

When I was listening to the song on my drive to work I was struck by all the emotions that Mary must have felt especially when I thought back to the first time I held my own children in my arms.  I sometimes get so caught up in the adult life and death of Jesus that I forget He was once a tiny baby. 

I’m not going to say much more about this song.  I want you to listen to it and discover the beauty on your own.

You’re Here

OK, OK…so I can’t leave a blog post about Christmas music without tossing in one of my favorites. After all, I am sure it is impossible to be in a bad humor while listening to Burl Ives sings Holly Jolly Christmas!  And as someone that leaves mistletoe out all year – wishful thinking!!??!!? – I particularly like the bit about the mistletoe. Ha-ha!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.  Matthew 1:21

Loving all year round

‘Tis the season to be shamed, strong armed and guilted into giving, giving and giving some more even when you don’t have it to give in the first place.

TO GIVE

I totally believe in giving.  Giving is part of every day life at our house.  We have a special friend we help support and before we took on the responsibility, we as a family sat down and discussed what we were willing to give up to make it happen.  It is also not uncommon for us to buy someone that is hungry a hot meal or help out someone we know is having a hard go.  It is a family effort and activity.  But we do it quietly and throughout the year not just at Christmas.  We don’t make a production out of it; we give because we want to and because it is an important part of our lives.

I’ve let out a little of our secret to emphasize a point I want to make about something that bothers me about this time of year.  Everyone and every organization appear to be out for your last red cent during the holiday season.  Whether it is the bell ringers, the school groups, church groups, this group or that group, everyone wants and expects more, more and more!  If you don’t give freely they are not above shaming you.

Why is only this time of the year important for giving?  Should we not be giving throughout the year?  I’m sure there are hungry people in July, cold people in need of hats and scarves in February or food banks in need of supplied shelves in August.  Or do we only feel the need to help others at Christmas to ease our consciences because we spent the mortgage payment on the toy little Johnny will toss in the corner of the closet and forget about within two weeks?

I’ve really scaled down Christmas spending this year even more than I did last.  Partly because to be plain I don’t have the extra cash like in years past and we also don’t need a bunch of extra junk cluttering up our house and lives.  The children and I have talked about why we don’t need to go wild at Christmas and the importance of giving throughout the year.  I’m not trying to toot my own horn.  I want them to realize need doesn’t go away just because we put the decorations away. We don’t have all the new toys or fancy stuff but we aren’t currently in need of anything either.

Don’t misunderstand me.  I have bought my children Christmas presents and more than they needed.  But I also like to give throughout the year.  Not just to my little darlings but to my friends, family and where I see need. 

Hello, my name is Ebenezer?

I’ve become a world class champion at saying “no thanks” or “not at this time” to all the open hands.  Perhaps that makes me hard hearted, I don’t know, but sometimes I just can’t give any more.  I also don’t like giving to the faceless.  I’m sure the teachers at my children’s school can’t stand me because the past few years I haven’t gone above and beyond like before and sent bags full of canned foods, scarves, hats and money for each and every “drive” for this or that.  I truly do appreciate the reason they are doing it but I prefer to be a bit more hands on.  

You know by now I like to toss out a challenge or a thought to ponder after I have subjected you to my ramblings so get ready!

If you give, donate or drop money in the kettles during the holiday season I salute you but I also have a request of you.  Take out the cost of a meal (complete with a drink and dessert) and put it in an envelope and tuck it away.  You’ll know when you need to pull it out and spend it on someone that will appreciate your kindness.  Want to know a secret?  The best part is after you give you will receive something money can’t buy.

And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’  Matthew 25:40

The Best Medicine

It is said that laughter is the best medicine but I want to add to that statement.

Laughter among friends is the best medicine.

This is the time of year when most of us eat stress, worry and exhaustion like they are those soft, puffy after dinner mints.  I for one know that I tend to make a meal off those little worries and often lose sight of the important things.  The Season, job worries, financial worries, the never ending battle of the bulge, worry about my mother’s upcoming eye surgery, etc. have really caused me to be uptight lately. 

As if I didn’t already have enough on my plate I have also been working on trying to overcome one of my little quirks. I get really worked up when people are in my house.  Yes, even when my mother comes over I get sideways.  I’m always concerned, ridiculously so, that my house isn’t grand enough, clean enough, the furnishings good/chic enough, maybe the people will not like having cats in the house, there might be a smell off whack, the neighborhood isn’t fancy enough, and on and on and on.  A few weeks ago I stepped out of my comfort zone and invited a friend over for coffee.  She was a good test for me because she loves me in spite of myself and helps me see through the fog of self doubt.  The stress before was high but once she got there and we started chatting and laughing I wondered why I was concerned in the first place.  Feeling high on emotion I immediately planned another little get-together only this time with several friends.  Oh no!  Had I jumped straight out of the frying pan into the fire?

Coffee with friends

I invited a few friends over for coffee, snacks and a relaxing morning to escape some of the stress of the Season.  Notice I said stress because after I sent the invitations I started snacking on STRESS like those yummy after dinner mints.  Then I took a minute and thought about why I was stressed.  All of the ladies invited are my FRIENDS.  They love me in spite of myself.  My house may not be the grandest but you know what? It is mine and I like to think I’ve made a good home for me and my munchkins.  My house may not be the cleanest but I work a full time job, have two kids, two cats and a full life.  It isn’t condemnable so it all works.  These are my friends and they will either accept me and my little house or not.  If not, then they really aren’t my friends to begin with, right? 

Me worry?

When my friends began to arrive I realized something very quickly.  Yes, they all glanced around the house but we were all focused on one another, fellowshipping, laughing, consuming our coffee and all the yummy foods.  One sweet friend, T, asked me if I was doing OK because she knows about my freaky nature.  The stress was light and the time together was the absolute best.

We discussed serious topics, laughed at our own silliness, shared secrets and best of all, the ladies that came in not knowing one another left with new friends.  When it was all said and done I was exhausted but feeling better mentally than I have in months.

Laughter among friends is the best medicine!

Thank you to my sweet friends that came and spent their morning with me yesterday.  You can’t imagine how much I appreciate you.  Let’s get together again soon!

A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. ~ Proverbs 17:22 (ESV)

LITTLE THINGS

It doesn’t take much to make me happy.  A funny joke, a hug from a friend, watching kittens play, simple stuff.  So today when I stopped to grab myself a cup of coffee after having lunch with a friend I was delighted to discover the coffee shop was offering a buy one get one free deal on the very flavor I had ordered. YIPPEE!

Those of you that know me have probably guessed my flavor of choice.

PEPPERMINT MOCHA!!!!!!!!!!!

While I was waiting on my TWO yummy mochas to be made I saw a sweet friend in the adjoining bookstore.  I offered her my FREE mocha but she had already had her limit.  Frankly, I wasn’t sure there was a limit when it came to coffee…..  After we chatted a bit, my coffees were ready and off I went, double handed out the door.  At first I had planned on consuming both of the mochas myself.  Then I saw a college aged young man in the parking lot walking toward his beater of a car, looking a little downcast.  Hmmmmm……..  I walked over and offered him one of my peppermint mochas.  The look on his face was priceless.  Probably much like the look on my face yesterday when the man in the post office offered to help me find a lost check and deposit slip!  He smiled, said yes and thanked me.  As I hopped in my car and left the parking lot I saw him take a deep sip of the mocha and smile.  It made me happy.

It is the little things! 

Today is also NATIONAL PIE DAY!  I’m not normally a lover of pie but I do love and I mean LOVE my mother’s buttermilk pie.  Since I have offered to put up her Christmas tree and stuff on Saturday she is going to make me a pie.  Yum and double yum!  She’ll serenade me with Christmas music on the piano while I put up her tree and then we’ll narf on buttermilk pie. Heaven! 

Again, it is the little things.

Be happy! 

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Luke 6:38

Tis the Season

If it is the most wonderful time of the year why are we not all blissfully happy?

This week a friend mentioned that she felt like she had been on a “sugar high” and was coming down in a certain situation in her life and I immediately related.  How can conflicting emotions that are the exact opposites of one another often go hand in hand?

I’m happy…I’m happy!

 

Really, I am.  I’m basically a happy person.  I love to laugh, have a good time and strive to always find the good in every situation.  I sometimes think that is the only way I survived much of my life up to this point.  If I’d wallowed or dwelled I’d probably have checked out a long time ago.  Life is good, my God is awesome, my children are happy, my family is…OK, let’s not get crazy here. Haha!  I also believe in smiling.  I believe in bringing as much joy as possible with me wherever I go and leaving that much or more behind when I leave.  So all that being said I need to admit a secret about myself here; I also have an ongoing battle with depression.

Those two don’t really mix do they?

For me and many others they do.  They are a marriage, a cocktail, a dynamic duo.  I can on the surface be as happy as a pig in slop but underneath, deep inside be depressed.  I manage them well though.  It is also easier now than before.  I thank a healthier lifestyle change for a big part of that.  Slimming down, running and all the new, fantastic friends that have come along with that, new goals that have been successfully achieved and an overall better sense of self have eased the sting of the big D.  But the holidays with all their wonder also bring stress and anxiety and those as we all know trigger depression. 

I guess the point I’m trying to make in the midst of this rambling is that we all need to pause a moment when we find ourselves caught up in the frenzy of the Season.   Spend some time with a friend over a cup of coffee.  Play a board game with your children one evening instead of going out shopping.  Listen to the words of Away in a Manger and reflect.  Share a smile with a stranger.  You never know who might be fighting their own personal demons under their bright and shiny cloak of cheer.

I want to share with you one of my favorite Christmas songs.  I heard it for the first time last year and was blown away by the words and beauty.  Actually I think this is a great song all through the year.  I hope you enjoy.

Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men. Luke 2:14

Am I thankful?

As I shared in my previous blog post I am letting one special friend be the “star” of my status update on facebook each day and letting them and the FB-universe know why I am thankful for their presence in my life.  After I posted my latest entry I started thinking.  It is easy to be thankful for the good people in our lives.  Am I able to be thankful for someone that has caused tremendous hurt and continues to knowingly do so?

I’m going to preface the following with a statement, as harsh as it is; many of you have heard me utter.  If I never heard his name again, laid eyes on his person or heard his voice again I would not care.  In fact, as I have also said before, I long for the day he is out of my life.  I’m sure you’ve guessed by now I am speaking of my ex-husband and the father of my children.

So after some soul searching I am going to say this and pray that I can truly mean (if not today then one day soon) what I am about to type.  I am thankful for him.

Eh?

Yes, I know, you are thinking that I am drunk, on drugs or off my medication.  But, if I really get down to the nitty-gritty I have to be thankful for him because without him I would not have the two greatest parts of my life.  My life, my love, my reason for everything that I do:  my children.

Now I’m not going to white wash any of this because he is a mean and spiteful person, by choice.  I learned that lesson the hard way and I get to revisit that special little place often.  However I can take it. Anything he wants to dish; I can take and come out better for it because I don’t rise to the bait anymore, much anyway.  He is a self-righteous bully and takes his unhappiness that is his chosen place dwell, out on everyone that happens to get within range. 

Yet…

I am thankful.  I am thankful because I have my children.  They are the brightest spots in my little world.  I never knew it was possible to love someone so much, so deeply, so completely until they arrived.   

I am thankful.  I am thankful for what I have learned about myself. I am able to endure and still come out victorious.

I am thankful.  I am thankful that I will now see any new man in my life with wiser eyes and a heart that listens to more than pretty words.

I am thankful.  I have learned to let him do as he will because I can’t change him. What I must do is conduct myself as I know I should and be the better person.

I am thankful.

OK, so maybe I’m not feeling the thankful part every day and in all of our dealings with one another especially when he hurts my children.  Some days are better than others. I need to remember that in the midst of adversity and the trials of life there are many things (and people) we should remember are lessons in thankfulness.  And maybe if I say it enough I’ll remember it when I want to snatch him bald headed. J

I am thankful.

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? ... Matthew 5:43-48

THANKFUL THOUGHTS

There is a challenge going round facebook; you list something every day this month for which you are thankful.  I did that last year and upon reflection I find that my list is much the same.  I’m thankful for my children, my little house, a dependable vehicle, plenty to eat and a new found health and vigor.  I decided not to participate in the challenge this year but instead challenged myself to pick one friend at random each day and tell them why I am thankful for them.

The Good, the Bad and the TRUE

It is easy to be a friend during the good times.  Fair weather friends come and go but it is the friend that sticks to you like poop on your shoe during the bad times that is worth more than their weight in gold.  These are the ones that make you smile, laugh, remember your blessings and help you soldier on when you want to call it quits.  When I looked at my list of friends I found that I am more than abundantly blessed with solid gold people. 

This self imposed challenge has been an eye opener for me as well.  When I am waxing poetic about my special friend of the day I pause and reflect.  Would they say the same about me?  Do I strive to be that someone special?  Am I a friend of worth?

I’ve been at this challenge for a few days now and I find that I am thinking about the next day’s status when I crawl into bed at night.  Who will it be?  Once I have made my choice I make sure to also say a prayer for that person as I am wording my blurb in my mind.   I finish my last waking moment with a simple request.  Lord, help me to be a true friend to this person that is so valued by me.

You are SPECIAL!

If you are reading this blog you are special to me.  We share a bond, a connection, a friendship.    May you find yourself blessed beyond measure today.

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.

Rockin' the Middle Half

13.1 Done, Baby!

2:47:01

I'm going to let pictures of the best run of my life, The Middle Half, speak for themselves.





My Coach

Coming up to the finish line!

On to the next challenge!

What do you get when you fall in love?

15 Days, 21 Hours, 12 Minutes….

What I got it return for falling in love with running is a nervous stomach and a little dose of dread as time ticks away closer and closer to THE race, the end goal, THE MIDDLE HALF. 

I posted yesterday about my breathing issue and the fear that it has brought to the surface.  What I did by blogging about it was to bring it to the front where I could deal with it, at least to the best of my mental ability.  I received lots of fantastic encouragement.  I even got some from the most unlikely places yesterday.  My mother, who does not usually support my running habit and who also does not read my blog, dropped me a little tidbit last night saying she knew I was probably getting excited and she knew I would do well, she was PROUD of me.  What?!?  I took that and ran. *pun intended*

I’m still nervous but I feel more confident.  I am confident in the knowledge that I have trained for this to the best of my ability.  I am confident that no matter how long it takes, how slowly I must go, or how many puffs from the inhaler I require I will successfully complete the course.  Several friends have been working toward and hoping for a PR at the Middle Half.  I’m not worried about that because no matter what my time is, it WILL be my PR. OK, OK, so it doesn’t technically count since it is my first, but I’ll take it anyway.



I'm a little teapot! I'm also going to pour out the doubt....



15 Days, 20 Hours, 30 Minutes

Time is getting closer with each passing minute.  I CAN do this and I WILL do it with success. 

 

I AM WOMAN! HEAR ME ROAR!

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." – Matthew 19:26 NIV

Easy as 1, 2, 3?

The ABCs.

A is for asthma. 

OK, according to my doctor it isn’t really “asthma” but more of an ongoing breathing issue caused by an extreme case of pneumonia.  About 5 years ago I developed pneumonia after a bad case of bronchitis.  I was sick with it for almost the entire winter and ended up missing a month of work.  Yep, if I do something I doggone do it well!  Needless to say my lungs have never been the same.  Many of the things that trigger asthma attacks trigger my asthma-like attacks; case in point, the ever fluctuating weather the past few weeks.  This past week during our long run I had an attack.  Thank goodness I had my inhaler!  By the time I finished the run I was all but doubled over, wheezing like crazy and trying to just stand up long enough to get my inhaler out.  My coach, Charles, was wonderful.  He was so sweet and kind to me. He gave me the space and concern I needed and even came out to my car before I left to make sure I could make it home OK.  Many thanks also to my friend and mentor, Cheryl.  She ran in the last with me and made sure I actually made it.  You can imagine I was almost next to tears, too.  Any time you have a brutal or bad run it is upsetting even when the causes are beyond your control.  Of course this episode has left me shaken.  What if I have another episode during the Middle Half?  I continue to have some sporadic tightness of breath and this leads to struggling runs.  What if I can’t complete the Middle Half?  Lots of self-doubt is swirling.  I try to remind myself that in spite of everything on Saturday I did actually finish my run.  Maybe I’m stronger than I give myself credit for.

B is for birthdays.

After all the mess of Saturday’s long run I came back home to a house full of kids!  My daughter turned 13 on Friday and my nephews were spending the night.  There was also a birthday party planned for later in the morning.  Tired, sore and feeling really down, I girded my loins and sucked it up.  I couldn’t show any weakness until the day was over.  Nothing was going to take any of the joy out of my girl’s special day.  A shower, my rockin’ pink compression socks, a snack and almost a full pot of coffee later I felt as if I could make it.  I am happy to report the day was a huge success!  Fun was had by all and the only downer to the day was when my darling nephews and their mom and dad had to leave.  We don’t get to see one another as often as I would like and I cherish each moment we are together.  Sunday was a total SLUGFEST!  I had to have a day of total rest and I even took another rest day on Monday.  I blamed it on the rainy weather but that was just an excuse.  Even if it hadn’t been raining I probably would have taken another day anyway.  My chest was still tight.

C is for compression socks.

Oh my goodness!  I love my compression socks!  Not only are they a fantastic color but they also make my legs feel great!  For once my calves didn’t cramp and feel like crap after a long run.  I first tested them after my 12 miler the weekend before and fell in love.  I’m still not sure about running in them but for recovery they are the bomb.

D is for….

OK, so maybe this alphabet ticker isn’t exactly going to work here. Ha ha!  We have begun the taper in our training program and frankly I’m not sure how it works but I’m not going to knock it.  Scaling back on the run distances couldn’t have come at a better time for me.  I feel overwhelmed in so many aspects of my life at the moment.  Having a little less to run at night eases my mind a little.  It also eases the stress my body is taking.  Not to sound like a wimp or that I don’t enjoy the ½ program – because you know I do! - I’m ready to run a little less.  I’m ready to run the Middle Half to the best of my ability and scale back on my runs, at least until I sign up for the next ½ training program.  Yes, you read it right! I am seriously considering signing up again to train and run the Country Music ½.  But that is a decision and topic for another day. 

Breathe in….breathe out!

My weight loss journey is still spinning wheels and at this moment in time I can’t give it anymore of myself.  I’m staying on program to the best of my ability but since I am only approximately two weeks away from the Middle Half the stresses of the scale have and are going to take the back burner.  I hope that my body will get back in the groove after my training scales back a bit but if not, I’ll deal with that then. 

Two weeks to get there again in my mind.  Two weeks to convince myself that yes, I can do it!  Two weeks until one way or another I cross that finish line and get my Middle Half medal.  Oh my gosh….TWO WEEKS!

Breaks and Rest Days

Sometimes you get so mired up in what you are working toward that you lose your way.  

TIME TO TAKE A BREAK

You know how hard and long I have been struggling with my weight and trying to meet my goal, a mere twenty pounds away.  You also know how hard and focused I have been on training for my first half marathon.  I have also in the last couple of weeks taken on a major house project, painting and putting down new floors in the kitchen and big bathroom.  Mix all these in with the daily stresses of being a single mom, the start of school, band schedules, overnight field trips, family drama and the uncertainty of my job situation and you have a steaming pot of crazy me.  It took me a while but I finally realized something, Jacquelyn needed a break.

When I realized I needed a break I didn’t take it well.  I had gone to MRC for a weigh in and was met with a 1.5 weight gain and received a chastising criticism by one of the newer girls; one that in her defense doesn’t know my story, my struggle and how much I’ve lost and how long I’ve been on the program.  I didn’t respond well and when I left I was ready to chuck it all.  I even tossed my food sheets on the way out and told myself that I WAS DONE! I suppose I should preface this with the fact that I had been painting and moving my crazy heavy furniture all by my lonesome. I was tired.  Perhaps I was a little more on edge than usual.  However I didn’t appreciate being spoken to like a troublesome child.  I was angry and in tears.  I have been on this program for so dang long and not making any progress.  P said perhaps my body needed a shock of sorts, to get it back to working.  I don’t know but I was done with program.

RUN CHIKIN RUN

Last Saturday after several days of worry over what I was going to do about my program, not really being on it but not really being off it either I decided I wasn’t going back to MRC at least not until after the Middle Half.  It was also the day of a fun 10K, Run Chikin Run.  Boy, it was HOT that day but I had a blast and I must have had some rocket fuel mixed in with my breakfast because I was really hauling and had a fantastic pace and over all run.  Later than afternoon with the help of my fabulous stepfather I laid down new flooring in my kitchen.  I painted until almost midnight getting the kitchen ready for my new fancy-smancy washing machine.  Worn out, that was me.  However I didn’t stress over what I was eating once that day.  I ate what my body needed and made really good choices and drank lots of water. 

Run Chikin Run 10K fun!

Labor Day was a total weather wash, literally! Lots ‘o rain.  I painted my living room and worked around the house and again, didn’t stress over my food choices.  I had three square meals and fruit as a pick-me-up snack.  The week’s weather didn’t really improve until Thursday so you guessed it, P and I had to get our runs in in the rain.  Bleh.  We had a good laugh over it all so it is all good. 

Wet runs aren't my favorite but at least it wasn't 100 degrees!

During the week, one of my favorite MRC girls called to check on me.  She noticed I hadn’t been in and that it wasn’t like me, just checking on you, are you OK kind of call.  I told her what had happened and that I wasn’t really eager to come back.  She asked me if I would come in to talk to her, so we could see what she could do to get me back on track.  She totally believed I could still reach my goal weight and she wasn’t giving up on me.  I agreed but deep inside I was still saying no.

REST DAYS!

Thank the Good Lord for REST DAYS!  After three run days in a row I am worn smack out!  Tomorrow is our long run and I am determined to really, truly REST today.  I also committed to go see my girl at MRC.  We went back into her office, shut the door and had a real Come to Jesus meeting.  I aired all my grievances, struggles, apprehensions, frustrations, etc.  After I laid it all on the line she still said she had absolute faith that I will reach my goal.  She also gave me a new menu, one that incorporates more food, including dairy – yippee! – and are you ready…snacks!  She also said that if this menu didn’t work we would tweak it until something did, make it my own.  Those were words I have been longing to hear.  Not just the “the program works, stick to the program” spiel.  I left feeling good about finally getting rid of my last twenty pounds, like it really is a reachable goal again.  Tomorrow morning I’m starting back on the menu and program whole hog.  Today is my last rest day.

Run, Forrest, Run!

Tomorrow is our long run with my training group.  A gruesome looking eleven miles, oh…my…goodness!  The number causes me to pause but deep down I know I can complete the amount successfully.  Thanks to my rest day today my legs and body will be ready.  I needed my rest days.  My mind as well as my body needs time to rest, refresh and refuel.  I was so mired down in all that I had going on that I lost my way, my focus and my determination.  It is an easy thing to do, too.  More on my plate than I could say grace over, I lost my grip.  I’ve had a week of diet rest and enjoying my day of physical rest so tomorrow I will be fresh and ready.  Ready to tackle all that falls in my path with a strong mind and body.

Keep your fingers, toes and eyes crossed for me!  Eleven miles and new menu all on the same day! Whooo-weeeeee.

Hopefully I’ll be more alert to when I need a rest day from here on out.  Do you need a rest?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”  Matthew 11:28-30